Through my research on global warming it is apparent that global warming is not a problem at all. In fact everybody needs to consolidate the fact that global warming is helping mankind in many different ways. The environment warming up, the ocean levels rising, and the increase in carbon dioxide are all benefits to the environment, economy, and mankind in general.
As the world warms up people will not have to heat their house. This is beneficial in many aspects. Not only will this save homeowners and businesses money it will also use less natural gas, which can be saved for other things. Also power plants will not have to produce as much electricity. This will reduce the amount of fossil fuels consumed by power plants, since the majority or power plants burn coal to produce electricity.
With the temperatures on the rise the icebergs and polar ice caps will be melting. This is but a miraculous thing. For one the coastline will go inland a couple hundred miles. Thus people who have property along the new coast will have an increase in property value, due to their property now being beachfront property. Also fruits that thrive close to the coastline, such as citrus fruits, would flourish close to the new coastline, bringing fruits closer to other places and reducing the cost of shipping the fruits. This would reduce the amount of impoverished countries around the world.
With no more icebergs or polar ice caps naval passage with be much easier. Also captains will not have to worry about running into any icebergs, and recreating another titanic experience. Over-sea shipments or cruises will not take as long because the captains would not have to avoid any icebergs.
As the carbon dioxide levels in the air increase, plant growth would also show an increase. Since plant growth will be on the rise the price on fruits and vegetables will decrease, also producing enough food to help end world hunger. With plant growth on the rise the plant industry will fully benefit. Also everybody’s yard will flourish and look extravagant, relieving the stress of having to worry about how your yard looks.
Global warming should be looked upon as a blessing rather than a burden. It is time for humankind to stop degrading global warming and start praising it. With property values increasing, plant growth increasing, food prices decreasing, and world hunger diminishing who wouldn’t want global warming?
satire linked from http://www.hipforums.com/forum/topic/256089-global-warming-satirical-essay/